Weddings are a delicate balance of a wide array of agendas. The bride has her vision of her perfect day, the mother of the bride has seen this day from the very first moment she held her baby girl, and then, there is the groom’s mother who loves her son so ardently she wants to be sure he shines as the sun on his wedding day.But then,lets not forget the grandparents who would like to take their rightful place as head of the family and should be recognized as such. This can be overwhelming to say the least.
However, the first order of business is involving those that are closest to you, as a couple and allowing them to share in your vision and excitement. Many an argument and offense can be avoided by simply communicating what is most important to you, as a couple, as you proclaim your love and devotion for all to see. Reminding those involved that they are important and cherished is key. But, gently reminding them what would make you the most happy on your day is also necessary. Please know from the beginning that you will not please everyone, but it is crucial that you are pleased with the outcome.
The next step is setting limits – create boundaries for those around you. Let them know a maximum number of guests that you will not exceed. Explain that you only want one toast from each side of the family. You get the idea. Next, delegate tasks that are not as important to you to include these invested families members so they feel as though they are valued and involved. This should help with any issues of mothers feeling out of the know or not in control.
Lastly, while this experience is very emotion-filled, try to remain as calm and level-headed as possible when discussing the details or dealing with everyone else’s agenda. The more excited or adamant you get, the more push back you will receive. If you stay true to your wants as a couple and explain that you would like those around you to support your love and happiness, you may just get exactly what you’ve asked for.