“No Ring – No Bring” But What Happens When Guests Ignore This Classic Rule?
It’s a classic rule that people have heard time and time again: “No Ring – No Bring.” Although one would hope your guests would appreciate the invite and not demand to bring a guest, sometimes their needs are more dominant than their class.
As the engaged couple, it’s up to you to set the rules in advance. Be strong in your decision and make sure you have open lines of communication between the two of you as to not make exceptions without speaking with one another first. If possible, make sure you make it as clear as glass when sending invitations. Whether that means writing everyone’s name on the envelope or being specific about the number of guests each RSVP card is made for, if you set the tone in advance, there is less room for interpretation.
If the situation comes about where someone still wants to bring a guest, there is an appropriate way to address them.
First, I always think about it on a personal level and what that person means to me…are they a close friend, family member, someone I barely know but my parents know? Based on these parameters you can decide if you want to call or e-mail the guest to address the issue. If they are a close friend, pick up the phone. If it’s someone you know on a more casual basis, e-mail is appropriate.
The key is just being honest.A note or conversationalong these lines would be appropriate:
“I got your RSVP card and am so excited you will be coming to our wedding. We are really looking forward to having you be a part of our special day – it means a lot. At this time, I do have to ask that you not bring a guest. We have a great group of people who will be coming and it certainly is going to be a fun night, but we have limited our guest list to close friends and family only. Due to the size of the venue and the room we are hosting the reception in, we just can’t accommodate everyone’s guests. I certainly hope you understand and are not disappointed. It’s going to be a wonderful wedding and we are looking forward to having you.”
Just be honest and tell them why you are asking them to come alone, as stated in the example above. If you tell them that it’s only close friends and family and nobody is bringing a guest, they will feel more comfortable knowing they are not the only person flying solo. This is one of the primary reasons people bring a guest; nobody wants to be the only one by themselves.
Keep in mind though, if your venue and budget can accommodate the guests, you should allow those who are engaged, married or even those in long term relationships to bring a guest. It’s important to includeguests’ significant others whenever possible.
At the end of the day, a wedding doesn’t have a set book of rules; planning your dream day is always open to interpretation. Just be sure to communicate, be honest and respectful of yourselves as a couple, and your guests.